Funny Things to Say to a Telephone Marketer
- #1
Anyone got any funny things to say next time a marketing person rings me and tries to sell me stuff?
I have one to start - when they ring say you are busy and ask for there home number and when they say no just say "you dont like being disterbed at home do you? Will neither do I!" and hang up 
- #4
Anyone got any funny things to say next time a marketing person rings me and tries to sell me stuff?
I have one to start - when they ring say you are busy and ask for there home number and when they say no just say "you dont like being disterbed at home do you? Will neither do I!" and hang up
Sounds familiar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3aCL8PIOuM
It's normally what I tell them if they waste my time with some long winded intro to their pitch. Most telemarketers in America have seen the episode, or have received that treatment before, so they'll usually giggle, then hang up when I ask for their phone number.
- #5
Sounds familiar. It's normally what I tell them if they waste my time with some long winded intro to their pitch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3aCL8PIOuM
Ha, I never knew that was from a TV show, I saw it from another forum a long time ago.
- #6
I do similar. I tell them that they are breaking the law (probably not true) at an individual level and I want their (not their managers) name and contact details as I want to sue them. The last woman sounded like she was about to cry as she apologised and hung up
And yes it is cruel. Yes they are only doing a job. But they called me when I've explicitly said I don't want to be called so they deserve all they get.
Edit to add: another funny trick is to say that you'll go and get whoever they ask for and keep them hanging. Come back every 5 minutes and see if they are still there and if they are say he/she's just coming. Wastes their time nicely
- #7
another funny trick is to say that you'll go and get whoever they ask for and keep them hanging. Come back every 5 minutes and see if they are still there and if they are say he/she's just coming. Wastes their time nicely
Like that one
- #8
Airhorn.
Some company got my mobile number, and since theres no laws against it here, they kept on calling. I sat through about three, and saved the numbers. Next time they called, I waited for him to get 1/2 way through his pitch, and then airhorned him.
I don't think he'll be telemarketing for a while
- #10
"Hello, I'm calling from [insert company name here] and I wondered if you had a few moments to talk about [insert generic service/product here]?"
"Certainly, sure. Mind if I ask you a question first?"
"Erm, yes if you want."
"What are you wearing?"
"Sorry? I..."
"Y'know? Underneath? Anything saucy on? Or are you going Commando?"
"I'm really not..."
"Would you like to try my trampoline? I'm into otters, big time."
*CLICK*
Fear is your friend
- #11
"We do not use <insert product here>."
The more outlandish, the better. You just have to keep a straight face, but it works every time.
- #13
It's really cruel, but one of the best was the one a friend of mine did.
He got the guy talking, and then he started to gradually turn the conversation into how sad he was with his life, how nobody liked him, and how he was going to go shoot himself. So, he got a paper bag, blew it up, and popped it next to the phone, then dropped the receiver.
I don't fully understand the repurcussions of doing something like that, but it can't be legal. I don't really think suicide is funny, but it was a good trick to play on the phone caller. I've never used it personally.
I usually try to convert them to some bizarre religion, start getting all preachy and so forth. Works like a charm.
- #15
Why not? What sort of law can have been broken?
- #17
It's not illegal, though, in the US at least; if the telemarketer calls the authorities and they pay you a visit, you can be fined a "false alarm" fee.
Usually, they'll wait until the 2nd or third false alarm, but the number of visits usually isn't anything that is set in stone.
I bet, between home security systems and prank calls like this -- they're raking in a lot of dough.
- #18
Seems to me that the telemarkers should pay the fine/fee: they raised the alarm not you. They are the ones who mis-interpreted the information.
- #19
I tell them I'd be glad to sign up if they give me a free iPhone or MacBoook Air.
- #21
Depends on the gender of the sales person. If a girl, I ask if we can just talk a little while, that I'm really board. They usually hang up then. If a male, I let them get through the whole speech, then just say no, and hang up.
- #25
i did this one, but now i feel guilty b/c of it. feel like i jinxed myself.
the call was from Columbia House DVD club (you know, buy 6 dvds for cheap, 1 free, then only x amount for the next year).
I politely declined, but the person kept going. i declined again. she kept going.
finally i said, i need to tell you something.
she said, ok.
i said, "I don't watch DVDs b/c i had surgery and they botched it and now I can't see."
she apologized and hung up.
i respect the fact that this is a job for these folks and i'm always polite until they keep going.
then i lay into them.
cheers,
keebler
Source: https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/funny-stuff-to-say-to-phone-salespeople.482583/
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